Lent

This week’s theme is supposed to be about struggle. It is supposed to be about Lent and a relationship with our Father and His Son.

I am a son of a father whom I can no longer see. I am a father of two sons and a daughter who still get to be with me. On Wednesday, at the age of 37 years 4 months and 11 days I will become the only male in my family in three generations to survive to this ripe old age.

What I know is that I am not my father. I am not my father’s father and I know that Our Father who art in heaven has laid before me a responsibility, an opportunity to be a father.

What I have always struggled with is the concept of giving my life over to God, and having faith that He has a plan for me. I struggle with this because I ask; where in that is my responsibility? Where in that is my acceptance and ownership of the gifts that he has given to me? When we say ‘it is in God’s hands,’ does that mean that it is not in ours? If we are created in His image, does that only mean physically, or does that mean that we are meant to create, as He did, our lives using the gifts we have been granted?

I believe we can trust in Him, we can know that He will provide as He always does, but we cannot for a moment, forgo our responsibility to honor the image of Him to embrace our gifts and chart our course mapped by His example, guided by His Son.

I don’t know when my time on earth will end and there is no physical sign that it will soon. I don’t suffer from any ailments. There is nothing imminent.

I do suffer from the weight of history. However, I have come to understand that I am not the image of my father or his father, but Our Father. I understand that being created in His image means that I get to continue to create and honor that image. And I understand that trusting in Him does not mean that while my life may be in His hands, I shouldn’t use my own.