Lent

The question is as old as Adam and Eve (and I guess, for them, the answer was “yes”): Is there only one “right” person for any other, when it comes to marriage? My husband of twenty-five-going-on-twenty-six years and I have discussed this from time to time. This usually leads to reminiscing questions about the history of our own relationship.

When one of our discussions led me to ask my husband Michael, who had dated other women in life-before-us (in contrast to me, who’d never really dated anyone), how he came to know that I was “the one”, his answer was unexpected.

“There came a point,” he explained, “when I knew that I wanted to move forward, out of the ‘pack’ of other relationships, with you.”

That was such a clear word picture to me. I envisioned him taking my hand, drawing me out onto the road ahead of all others to whom we were connected. We each had wonderful, deep, and strong relationships with other people of both genders. But, for the sake of delighting in each other and growing and building our relationship on a whole new and other level, we had to “leave the pack behind.”

What would Michael have thought/done/said had he held out his hand to beckon me to that new relational realm had I said, “No thanks, I’d rather stay here”? I can tell you this much: we would not be where we are today.

The season of Lent is upon us, a time people usually think of in terms of “giving up” something for the sake of the observance. I’m from a faith background where the Lenten season was not given so much as a polite nod, so “giving up something for Lent” was more of a joke or a buzz phrase than anything else.

This year, I’m thinking about “Lent” because I’m writing about it. I want to be on the journey as a participant, rather than at the side of the road as an observer. But, where to begin?

I think “leaving the pack behind” may be the starting place for me. This means my observance of Lent is a choice to step apart from some other things that bring joy and delight to my life to focus on my relationship with the true Joy-giver and Light for my life in the person of Jesus. The question is not totally what have I left behind (What am I giving up for Lent?), but what am I bringing to this new place of seeing and growing toward and learning and loving of the One who reaches out to take my hand for the journey? I’m not sure as I write this (a week or so before the start of Lent) what this Lenten adventure will look like, but the choice has been made to begin, and that’s a start.