Lent

I remember a Christian Education class in seminary. The focus was on moral development of children. We began with the understanding that newborn babies cannot distinguish between themselves and their mother. They learn that certain cries produce action – their mother will change their diaper or feed them or hold them. The baby is the center of the universe and the mother and anyone else who responds to a cry is simply an extension of that universe.

As the child grows into adolescence, little changes.  The teen knows the difference between themselves and the parent but they are still the center of the universe and feel that the world revolves around them. They have more sophisticated ways of getting parents to respond to their needs.

I took this same world view into marriage. I had the idea that this other person in my life was there to serve me – to meet my needs. I provided the source for conflict. I think few enter marriage thinking about how much they can make the other person happy.

The most difficult part of my relationship with God is to remember that I am not the center of the universe – God is not an extension of me – He is not there simply to meet my needs. The Lenten season is a reminder that He is the center of the universe. Lenten observations then are not about how disciplined I am or how hard I work or how much I give up or how much I give.

If I am not careful, even in the giving up, giving in, serving more or working harder, I will be seeking a blessing from God as a reward for my sacrifice – and in doing so, I have remained the center of our universe.

The hardest part of this season and of the journey with Christ is to seek to bless Him – to bless Him with my giving, with my silence and solitude – to seek Him for no other reason than to honor and worship Him with no expectations of blessing or reward.

Blessing will come, to be sure, but it is not the blessing I seek but the One who blesses.

What draws me to these expressions of sacrifice is the overwhelming awareness of the infinite greatness of an eternal God and the love He has shown me, through the incarnation, death and resurrection of Jesus and through the daily reminders that I am His child.

All that keeps us from the purest pursuit of God is nature’s pull for me to be the center of the world and not Him.