I’m unlike Rob in that I’ve never had a “usual plan” for the observance of Lent. This is new to me. I, too, have been asking God what these next six weeks should/will look like in my life, wanting Him to take the reigns in this special excursion included in the life tour. (Ooh, sorry–that makes it sound like we’re traveling on horseback…) And, I have been totally unsure what God was wanting me to do in these weeks of focus.

I read Laurie’s xanga post last night and it really ministered to me and provided at least a partial answer to what I’ve been praying. Even more than that, it ratcheted up my realization that this Lenten blog is not just a seasonal writing exercise. It is an exploration of a trip we’re on together, a place where we will ask the questions, share the challenges, confess the wrongheadednesses or struggles, ask for the helping hands and hearts of one another..and of the company of pilgrims that join in the sojourn.

Now I think I’m beginning to get it…and I’m very glad to be traveling this way

One has to wonder how you found your way inside of my head and heart this morning.

As I drove out of my driveway, I was beating myself up for not having ‘figured out’ what Lent was supposed to be about for me this year. I was kicking myself for not understanding what it was, giving up or doing, that I needed to do to become closer to God. I was frustrated as I tried to coordinate in my mind how I would make it to mass today. I even made a ham sandwich for lunch…I’ll save it for tomorrow.

So, I enter this Lenten season more unsure than ever before because I am without my usual ‘plan’ to do my ‘list’ of things that somehow make me feel better for having done them.

The result of all this, is that I am left wondering about this season, its purpose and what I am called to….give up or do as well. I thought about those 27 people as I continued my drive, wondered about fair warning and pray for their families.

As I settle in to my work day, my first day in my office in a week, I get to see and be with those whom I serve, children and families and staff who do far more difficult jobs than I. It is welcome after being away.

Thanks for reminding me that perhaps this season doesn’t begin with clarity and surety about what or how to do or give up. I needed that today.